you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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