so that wasnt chicken after all
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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