i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
