I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
