You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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