mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
