So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
