my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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