yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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