Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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