smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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