Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
