He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
