Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
