dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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