i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
