I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My first STD was from a foam party
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
