It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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