Already got asked if we're dating
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
