She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
