I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
