apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
