it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
