Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ok first of all what the fuck
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
