woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
