You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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