Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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