he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
