I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
