He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
