I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
