All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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