I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize