Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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