In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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