he thought i was a dude.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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