somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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