well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Success! We fucked roommates!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
