I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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