yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
