I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Randomize
