you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Michael Bay diarrhea
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
