do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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