my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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