Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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