yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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