Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
