i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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