everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
