he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
false alarm, still single
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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