I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
