It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
