Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
