New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
