They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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