I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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