her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize