After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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