Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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