summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
