seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
